


Darcy Lewis Channels Her Inner Varys

by The_Supervillains_Goatee



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Game of Thrones (TV), Marvel, Thor (Movies), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Reality, BAMF Darcy Lewis, Being Bad For A Good Cause, Gen, Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, Is Crack Noir a category? I think it should be., Littlefingered, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-07-15 00:06:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7197041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Supervillains_Goatee/pseuds/The_Supervillains_Goatee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Now with summary!<br/>This isn't actually a crossover with Game of Thrones.<br/>This was inspired by 'My Love is Vengeance' by seikaitsukimizu, 'Guarantee' by infiniteeight, and 'Leverage' by Lyaka</p>
            </blockquote>





	Darcy Lewis Channels Her Inner Varys

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [My Love is Vengeance](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2540735) by [seikaitsukimizu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/seikaitsukimizu/pseuds/seikaitsukimizu). 
  * Inspired by [Guarantee](https://archiveofourown.org/works/490854) by [infiniteeight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/infiniteeight/pseuds/infiniteeight). 
  * Inspired by [Leverage](https://archiveofourown.org/works/534029) by [Lyaka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyaka/pseuds/Lyaka). 



> Kat Dennings and Natalie Portman are Jewish therefore I decided that Darcy Lewis and Jane Foster should be Jewish too.

Darcy Lewis Channels Her Inner Varys

 

"My name is Darcy Lewis. My official title is Cup Bearer and Shield Maiden. That's not S.H.I.E.L.D. as in an acronym for Jack Booted Men In Black. That is 'shield' as in Valkyrie Nerd Herder. And Speaking of which..... **All hail Her Majesty Jane of Houses Foster and Culver, First of Her Name, by the Grace of Njord, Queen of the United Kingdom of Æsir and Vanir, Defender of the Ásleikr, and Protector of the Nine Realms**. Ahem...Welcome to the first day of the rest of your lives. Again, my name is Darcy Lewis. You can regard me as the Prime Minister of Terra Nova. Despite your first impressions I am quite qualified for this job."

"Most of you are probably wondering how you got here. Here being Terra Nova. This planet. Well, the short answer is Cerebro, the Infinity Gauntlet, and the Book of the Vishanti. You are also probably wondering about your accommodations and the answer to that is also Cerebro, the Infinity Gauntlet, and the Book of the Vishanti. And now you likely wondering why you are here and the short answer to this is the Super Human Rapture. Many of you possess certain genetic anomalies. Specifically the ones that cause super-powers. The vast majority of you are quote _HOMO SUPERIOR_ unquote aka carriers of the X-Gene aka Mutants with a capital M. The rest of you are Mutates, Atlanteans, Inhumans, Magic Wielders, Nine Realm Halflings, Super Soldiers  & so on and so forth. The rest of you are the the parents or legal guardians of a minor who has super-powers or is carrying gene for super-powers. And that is why all of you have been wafted off to Terra Nova."

"You are quite fortunate. Her Highness is an outspoken feminist who believes all people have certain inalienable rights and freedoms. And that all citizens are entitled to food, shelter, education, and medical care. She also quite frankly doesn't give a fat rat's patoot about how you live your life... so long as it does not infringe on the rights of others or disturb her from her research. **Do. Not. Disturb. Jane. Foster. From. Her. Research.** You come from every religion, every nation, every ethnicity, race, color, creed, gender, sexual identity and sexual orientation, and socioeconomic class on Earth and all of you will be expected to treat you fellow citizens of Terra Nova with civility and dignity and respect. This is a very benign dictatorship. One might almost consider it a Meritocracy. The only thing you don't have a right to vote for is your Supreme Leader. But more on that later."

"Oh, yes? What was that? What do we want with you? Why, nothing. You're simply here to be good, productive members of society and live in peace and harmony with one another. Catch? Well, I suppose you could say there is a catch. If Jötunheimr or Svartálfar were to invade, we'd expect you to lend a helping hand in defending Asgard's territories. What? Why should you do that? Why should you not side with them against us? Well, primarily because Frost Giants and Dark Elves view humans, oh pardon me HOMO SUPERIOR as food. They'd kill you, skin you, and eat you. If you're _very, very_ lucky they'll do it in that order. Just an FYI, if you think betraying King Thor and Queen Jane is a good idea."

"Hmm? Why, again? Ah, yes, WHY. Well, you see the reason why you were Raptured is that people who don't have super powers hate and fear you. Mutants are already aware of this unfortunate fact. _Supreme Headquarters International Espionage Law-Enforcement Division_ aka S.H.I.E.L.D. aka The Jack-Booted Thugs In Black decided your genetic anomalies were a great threat to the safety of the planet Earth. S.H.I.E.L.D.'s method of dealing with great threats to Earth is to permanently eliminate them. Yes, they planned on removing all of you from the gene pool _i.e._ kill you via a very nasty virus. Fortunately for you, just at the right time, Loki decided to invade Earth and then Hydra decided to overthrow the government. To save the world, S.H.I.E.L.D. suddenly needed people with unusual physiology to kick a whole lot of powerful buttock. One of those people they recruited for butt kicking duties was Prince (now King) Thor _allhailhismajesty_. His Majesty was rather peeved with them for holding him captive. S.H.I.E.L.D. had to give Now-King-Thor a peace offering and that peace offering was Jane Foster. Jane Foster was persuaded to marry Thor and agree to move from Earth to the Nine Realms with her courtiers. The members of Her Majesty's royal court was not specified at the time this bargain was made. S.H.I.E.L.D. also needed leverage to get The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants on their side. Director Snakes-Offa-Plane and Agent Casper-The-Unfriendly-Ghost, through myself, bargained sanctuary for super humans in Her Royal Majesty's Court in Asgard in return for the Brotherhood's help evicting our alien visitors. Like most people, S.H.I.E.L.D. underestimated me by failing to be very, very specific in the bargain they made. Instead of whisking off just The Brotherhood and the X-men to Asgard, we whisked away all of you. You see Agent Coulson assumed that he had access to all of my mind when he was possessing my body since I had access to all of his mind. He was most assuredly wrong on that count. Oh, what was that? Yes, the new Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. used to be dead. But he got better."

"Ah, yes, where was I? Oh, yes, that's right...Everything Coulson knew I now know."

"Now, now! There's no need to be so alarmed! I am only here to make Queen Jane's life run more smoothly. You are not slaves. You are Freeborn Citizens. There are rules, of course, but they are hardly onerous. I am simply here to explain those rules and ensure that you follow them."

"Why did she kidnap you? Well, you haven't been kidnapped. As I explained before this is a _rescue_. Like myself, Her Highness is of Jewish descent. She has strong feelings about genocide. You and all your kith and kin were going to die a terrible, slow painful deaths.  Her Highness decided the only way to prevent that from happening was to take you out of harm's way. You're welcome, by the way."

"Speaking of gratitude.....Her Majesty is technically a Goddess but worshiping of her is not required. Nor is converting to Judaism. Whatever religious beliefs you adhere to are your own business as far as she is concerned....so long as they do not infringe upon the rights of others. The other Deities feelings on proper veneration are quite different, however. If you insult them, it as at your own peril."

  
"Yes, I am sitting on a inflatable plastic replica of the Iron Throne from the tv show Game of Thrones. Yes, I am wearing a chain-mail bikini. And, yes, this thing in my hand looks like a replica of Cia's scepter from Hyrule Warriors. Don't be deceived by my looks. I have a Bachelors and Masters degrees in Political Science and a JD/MLS. Along with minors in sociology and psychology. If you're wondering why I was put in charge of Terra Nova and it's newly minted 370 million or so citizens....well, that would because Queen Jane knows that she can trust me implicitly."

"Why? There is that question again. 'Why'. Why does she trust me absolutely? Well, it's quite simple. I love her. She is the center of my universe. I owe my life to her and I will follow her to 'the end of the line'. I am a Mutant. I was outed in college only 6 credits away from graduation. It didn't matter my particular power set wouldn't give me an advantage over the other students or I had perfect control over my powers, I was still expelled. That was the same day I lost my job, my family, my friends, my significant other, and my apartment. I ended up living in my car for months. One day when I was begging for enough change for food and gas money, Jane Foster ran into me. Literally. She had her nose in book and plowed right into me. By way of apology she invited me into a coffee shop for something to eat and drink. They knew I was a Mutant and said they didn't serve my kind. Jane's response to this was rather shrill and loud. The police were called so she dragged me back to her place for a bowl of cereal. Dry because she'd run out of milk two weeks earlier. When she heard my whole story, she stormed off to Culver's Dean of Students and verbally bludgeoned them into accepting me as a transfer student and applied for a grant to study in Puerto Antiguo that included enough money for a paid internship worth six credits. She knows that she can trust me, because she took the time to know me. And because she believed I was worth fighting for when everyone else had abandoned me."

"You're unhappy now, but you won't be for much longer. You'll be quite satisfied with your new lives and completely forget about your old ones. Trust me. How can I be sure of that? Well, I've already made the world you left behind forget all about you.... and you've already begun to forget them too."

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or Marvel properties and am making no profit. Please don't sue me.


End file.
